Raising kids is HARD! It’s one of the hardest things you can ever do in life. We all try to do our best but the kids end up in therapy anyway. There are thousands of ways we can all be better parents. One is teaching our kids about finances early. I don’t know about you, but I believe one of my goals as a parent is to raise my child so that he will not need me. Becoming self-sufficient is much easier if we give our children a solid understanding of credit, budgeting, saving, and investing from the time they can understand the vocabulary. Some parents think that it is ‘too much’ for kids and these topics should be avoided. I think that is just as bad as sending kids out into the world who don’t know how to cook, clean, or without basic hygiene habits. And we’ve seen the result of that…
I’ve shown my son my paycheck, my W2, and the family budget. Does he seem to care, absolutely not. But one day it’s all going to click for him. He knows we practice delayed gratification while pursuing goals. He’s even complained that I’m cheap. I agreed. Yes, I’m cheap for a while because I have something BIG I want to do. That’s worth it to me. Does he fully understand this now? Nope. But he will one day. They are not going to get it the first time, or the second, or the tenth. But over the years, bringing them into these ‘adult’ conversations will normalize the language of money. It won’t seem foreign to them when it’s their turn to adult. They just might feel comfortable asking for advice too and boy wouldn’t that make any parent beam.
The second part is avoiding raising entitled brats. Instilling a work ethic and appreciation in your children is just as important as the mechanics of finance. If they know how to budget, but simply prefer mommy and daddy to take care of them, then that knowledge is useless. So where do we find the middle ground?
I only have one child, and my spouse and I both have incomes, so it would be really easy to say ‘yes’ to everything my wittle baby wanted. Yes, we can afford it. So I couldn’t use the typical ‘we don’t have any money for that’ excuse. That’s mostly what I heard growing up, and it was true. I had to explain that although I can buy it, I will sometimes say no. I would say no because he had to learn to hear and accept that as the answer. We’ve all seen a kid that has never heard ‘no’ right? You have to practice the no early and often so they get used to it. The no’s need to be balanced with yes’s. If I overdid the no, then that would be just as bad as overdoing the yes.
Now that he is older and I don’t worry about tantrums anymore, the focus has shifted to earning what he gets and appreciating it. I don’t think we have to make our kids earn EVERYTHING. I’m not big on allowance or paying for chores either. We are a family unit, and all chores are a family responsibility. You don’t get a cookie for doing the dishes. You are simply contributing to the household. Usually, one parent is more flexible and the other more rigid, but that’s where the balance between them comes into play. My son ‘earns’ things with his grades. Personally, I don’t think good grades should be rewarded, that’s an expectation. But my husband thinks that his job is school and he should earn his ‘paycheck’ when he achieves the honor roll or principal’s list. If you have a teenager, you know how much kids are into their sneakers. So my son is working very hard to earn himself those shoes.
Now let’s say he got those coveted Jordans and destroyed them in a week. Would we get him another pair? You should already know the answer to that. It’s a big, fat NO. He goes so far as to bring a second pair of shoes to school to not dirty them in gym class. He takes care of what he earns so we feel comfortable getting him more. We also don’t buy most of the shoes brand new. My husband restores shoes. So he researches them online to find a great price, and then he makes them look new again. So he’s also learning that buying secondhand is a life hack. We have no shame in our game.
This is just one example and you’ll have to use your judgment, common sense, and knowledge of your child and apply them to your circumstances. The headline here is talk to your kids and make sure you don’t just shower them in wants. What issues are you seeing with your kids? Are you able to objectively take stock of your situation? Remember, they’re more likely to live with you, or sponge off you, forever if you don’t set them down the right path now.
(If my son ever reads this, mommy loves you and you never have to leave! Don’t tell your Dad though. XOXO, Mom)
